Silent Tears - from a Norwegian Hospital
Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds the mask that brings moisture, oxygen and medicine to her babygirls lungs as she struggles against the slime that threatens to suffocate her. On the walls of the childrens wing in the Akershus Universityhospital near Oslo, bright art shines. Highly skilled and trained personell runs and bikes through the corridors, figures in strongly colored paper tremble in the wake of their passage. This place should be cheerful. A doctor makes her second attempt at finding a vein in the arm of my 14 days old girl. No luck. The veins in her head are easier to locate. Anna cries at every touch. Breastfeeding, the favorite activity in her short life, seems without interest. Sometimes she forgets to breathe, and we must stroke her chest to remind her. Four days ago I slept fitfully at the same place with another child. Aleksander, my oldest, came to me after bedtime, crying. Every breath hurt. At the hospital, every conceivable test was taken. X-rays, ultrasound, EKG, CRP, culture growth, urinesamples - nothing was found. Aleksander, who without flinching gets tackled on the soccerfield, cried.
The next morning he was fine. The Pakistani girl keeps struggling. Anna turns grey. Her CRP indicates an infection; a tube in her nose brings breastmilk to her stomach while the IV in her head provides antibiotics and saline. In a quiet room of the hospital, my body clenches. Tears flood my eyes. I take two deep breaths. No time for tears. Not yet. Back in 1997, my wife woke me in the middle of the night. Something was wrong with the five-month old fetus inside her. A few hours later she miscarried in this hospital. I wrote a song to the little girl that left us. Never fly
© H.R.Ueland 2003 There are still flowers in the gutter
There is still beauty in the world
I'm sure that butterflies will some day flutter
Even though this baby's cries will not be heard The sun will rise again tomorrow
The moon will silver from the sky
And my neck will still be bent with sorrow
For the tiny child whose thoughts will never fly I hope you're safe from grief and sorrow
I hope you're comfortable and warm
I hope that in a distant, far tomorrow
I will meet this child and hold her in my arm This song might be up at http://www.haakon.nu when you read this. Be well, all. Take care of yourself and each other. [My Anna got home from the hospital after a week. Her condition steadily improved. She was probably infected with the Coxsackie-virus - google it, esp. if you've got kids. You do NOT want your kid to get this without knowing the symptoms - it can seriously damage the heart and the brain unless treatments starts very early. And not only can it be fatal - it is a highly contagious condition, infecting through air/surfaces.] Haakon Rian Ueland is a former columnist of the Mensa International Journal, where this article was first published. http://smartsoftware.org is dedicated to various cellphones and to his column. You can contact him at hueland (at) gmail (dot) com.
Related News
Husband's grief over floods tragedy - The Press Association
Husband's grief over floods tragedyThe Press Association -18 minutes agoA British man has spoken of his grief at the loss of his wife and one of his twin daughters who died after being swept away by floods in Spain. ... |
Danville service aims to help those who have lost a child - Urbana/Champaign News-Gazette
Ask Amy - Grief: Let your dad help you get over the loss of your ... - Winston-Salem Journal
Victory tinged with pain of personal loss - MLB.com
X Factor exclusive: Laura White's tears caused by pain of loss - Mirror.co.uk
Vet's Views - Latah Eagle
Vet's ViewsLatah Eagle, ID -Oct 9, 2008If you have recently lost a pet, know that you are not alone in your grief. If you know someone who is grieving over the loss of a pet, please realize that ... |
Event: Sixth annual Grief Seminar: "Between Loss and Hope: Tools ... - Goshen College News
Eiko & Koma's non-narrative of loss and love - Minneapolis Star Tribune
Eiko & Koma's non-narrative of loss and loveMinneapolis Star Tribune, MN -6 hours agoBut as they paint ravens on a floor drop, they offer a nubile kind of hope in this stage poem to the ravages of grief, confusion and loss. |
ELECTION Q&A: Floyd County Coroner - Evening News and Tribune
ELECTION Q&A: Floyd County CoronerEvening News and Tribune, IN -11 hours agoOn average two families a day in our community will be touched by the loss of a loved one. As a funeral director and grief counselor I have had the ... |
Charlotte's loss is our loss, say colleagues - Independent Online
Charlotte's loss is our loss, say colleaguesIndependent Online, South Africa -Oct 9, 2008"Her loss is our loss. We have given her more than flowers, a person throws flowers away within three or four days, but the moral support we give her will ... |
|
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Suicide in the Church Part 2
In a town the size of mine - about 16,000 - can a few suicides within a 90-day period be considered an epidemic? I'd say so.
Quite a few Christians have contacted me since these tragedies have occurred, people struggling with the in's and out's of suicide and its effect on one's eternal reward, among other concerns. These included the wife of one of the recent suicide victims. As a certified Workplace Chaplain, I receive various ministerial and counseling materials in the mail and one recent article presented some jarring statistics about suicide and its effects on those left behind.
Dying at Home ? A Precious Gift
Few of us care to think about the inevitability of our own demise. We except that we are not immortal, however for the most part, we are successful in putting thoughts of our own death from our mind. When those close to us die, we painfully become aware of the fragility of life and as we contemplate our own mortality, two things become very clear. 1. We do not want a painful death, and 2. We do not want to die in hospital.
Dealing With Grief and Loss - How to Mend a Broken Heart
What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let's face it, it's hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.
Angelo Dies
Angelo C, was a good man that never did any harm. He died
yesterday in the shower over a severe asthma attack. The
entire school cried and prayed for their old friend Angelo.
They joined in a moment of silence at 2:55 pm to let Angelo
know that we care.
How to Turn Grief into Joy
I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me, I was with my daddy when his spirit left his body. I drove him to the emergency room because he was having chest pains. He said that they weren't too bad, and his color was good. He was still walking.
Terrorism Worries: 10 Ways to Turn Fear into Hope
September 11th changed America and chances are it changed you. Images of that tragic day pop into your mind without warning and you have a constant feeling of anxiety. Awful questions come to mind as well. Will the terrorists strike again? Where will they strike? How many innocent people will be killed?
Grief
If you have ever lost someone dear to you it is likely that you can still summon up the grief that you may still be carrying deep inside yourself as a result of the loss. If this grief, which is usually felt as a deep saddness, is something that you would like to clear in yourself then you may find some hope here.
Death Poem
During the two years of my husband's terminal illness, death was never far from my mind. We had been told he was dying and even a time in which it was supposed to happen. We had no idea of how it would happen. I was loathe to let him out of my sight incase he should suddenly die and not return to me and woke each day fearing that he may have died during the night. Towards the end of his illness I sensed that death was near, waiting in the shadows to steal my love from me and wrote the following poem.
The Truth About Emotional Intelligence
There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence these days that it appears that people are suppressing their emotions and problems in an effort to "fit in," to keep their jobs, and using "positive self-talk" to muscle through the rough spots in their lives.
When The Spirit Leaves The Body
Do you spend most of your time inside or outside of your body? If you know what I'm talking about then I can almost certainly say that you have spent some time outside of your body.
How to Deal With A Death in the Family and Still Run Your Small Business
As a small business owner we have to deal with tax law changes, local ordinances, environmental laws, Worker's Compensation, etc. Just when we thought we had everything under control, something terrible happenes. A death in the family. Oh my God you say? What do I do now? Well since I have been there, let me tell you what you need to know.
Beyond A Mothers Nightmare To Radical Forgiveness
It was a moment I will never forget.
Afraid Of Dying? Afraid Of Living!
Over the years, I've heard many people voice their concerns of death and dying. It wasn't that they had any maladies that would cause them to die any time soon, but they were "afraid of their own immortality." The basic idea of death, or the potential of death, created a mind-numbing fear that, in some cases, forced them into isolation to avoid anything that could increase their chances of dying.
Dads, Life, and Death
When he looked at me, it was clear my father wasn't sure who I was. And as I looked back at him, I wasn't sure who he was, either.
You Have to Show Up: On Small Miracles (Okay, maybe not so small)
I hadn't intended to go to my cousin's funeral.
GoodBye GrandMa
My dearest Grandma, I will never forget
you & sorry that I was not there with
you when you passed.
How to Deal with Suicide and Euthenasia
The following is a report that indicates how you might recognize suicidals, and how you might deal with them. But a warning: Suicide can be a very complex issue, and it might be better to have a professional deal with this issue if it comes up, but if this is very difficult to attain, this guide is a very good alternative to follow if you have no other solution to the problem.
What is an Appropriate Sympathy Gift?
When a friend or loved one is grieving, it is hard to know what to say or how to show your support. When you want to provide comfort and support and show your concern for a family member, a friend, or an associate, a personalized gift is always an ideal choice. The best gifts are those given and chosen from the heart. It says that you really care and have taken the time to think about the time after the initial grief of losing a loved one ... during the alone and lonely times.
Grief Support: The Dos
Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do? What should I say? Am I doing the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing?" Here are some suggestions for how to best help those in grief.
How My Four Your Old Son Reacted To The Death Of His Great Nanny Biscuits
My nan was called Margaret and lived until the age of eighty eight. Unfortunately she died in hospital and this article describes how my son reacted to the news of her death. His reaction basically put a smile back onto my face again.
|
