Dealing with Grief & Loss

Whats It All About?


For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence - and when I say ordinary I mean a contented, ?far from perfect? way of life. And that?s okay? until something major happens to rock the boat.

Lessons We Learned From Terri Schiavo


Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for me many aspects of grief and hope. Who among us was not moved by the drama of her last days? I know I was. Her death was not the way I would want my own death to be. When my time comes, I want no heroic measures, since for me they simply postpone the inevitable. And watching the family feud that took place between her husband and her parents, with all the tension and the anger, saddened me terribly. Peace should be the last emotion Terry felt, but who knows if she heard only the angry words passed between those she loved. No one should have to die as she did.

Pope John Paul II


WHAT I LEARNED FROM POPE JOHN PAUL II ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coping With A Funeral


When the death of a loved one occurs, regardless or whether it was expected or not, you will find yourself having to deal with a great number of people. Some you will know closely, others may be complete strangers; all will be claiming some kind of relationship to the deceased.

Made in Heaven


Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend - my Mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer. The hurt was so intense; I found it hard to breathe at times.

Loss Involves Change - The Transformative Power of Loss and Change


There are many experiences in life, which remind us that change is an inevitable part of living. We then have to choose to either to resist this process or look for new ways of finding meaning in our lives. Losing a loved one to homicide, for example, is one of those changes that throw our lives into chaos and disarray. We are forced to see our world very differently, knowing that things will never be the same again. Our loss involves substantial change in every aspect of our lives.

Are We All Losers? Understanding Grief


The well-known pioneer researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five states through which the dying patient goes. It is also true that the recently bereaved and the about to be bereaved evidence the same stages. Kubler Ross has labeled the 5 stages denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. People do not necessarily go through these stages in any set order or over a set length of time, nor does the individual necessarily pass through each of the stages. Most controversial is the final stage of acceptance. Kubler-Ross believes that all of us come to accept death as it approached, but other researchers do not agree. Westberg, for example believe, as do the writer, that we come to a point of living with the loss. Let?s now review the 10 stages of grief as defined by Westberg. If you have or can access his tiny book entitled, Good Grief, it would help you to understand each stage in more depth than the writer will go.

Grief


I didn't know a heart could die before it stopped beating. I didn't know a life could cease before it stopped breathing.

Death, Close and Personal


I got an email recently from someone whose mother died. She knew I'd suffered the loss of my mother and wanted some insight on how to deal with it. Unfortunately for her, I had no advice...shit...I'm still dealing with it.

You Can Help A Grieving Heart


Oh, we can talk about the best cold medications and if cherry cough syrup tastes better to kids than orange. We can recommend preschools and sneakers. But the hardest part of parenting is the least often discussed. The roughest aspect of being a parent is losing a child.

Grief Support: The Don?ts


1) Don?t try to make the grieving person feel better. YOU CANNOT. For many grievers it only serves to make them feel guilty or worse. Grievers MUST experience the pain of grief for healing to ultimately occur.

Grief Support: The Dos


Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do? What should I say? Am I doing the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing?" Here are some suggestions for how to best help those in grief.

Suicide Survivor


Suicide is a nightmare for survivors of loved ones. Death in itself is hard to cope with but when someone you love intentionally takes their life, this pain is somehow multiplied many times over. Your mind races with unanswered questions and your heart pounds in shock ? then it hits you. They are GONE, taken from this earth by their own actions, and there is nothing you can do to get them back.

Grief & Loss - Healing Your Broken Heart


What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let?s face it, it?s hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.

Beyond A Mothers Nightmare To Radical Forgiveness


It was a moment I will never forget.

More Articles from Dealing with Grief & Loss:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8


RELATED ARTICLES
Guilty, Your Honor: The Burden of Guilt After a Suicide
Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.
Grief & Loss - Healing Your Broken Heart
What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let's face it, it's hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.
New Tears [about Grievng--with commentary]
New Tears [about Grieving]
Grief Support: The Dos
Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do? What should I say? Am I doing the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing?" Here are some suggestions for how to best help those in grief.
Men and Grief
Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it difficult for men to look for support, and harder again to accept it. Men are so often silent, solitary mourners who immerse themselves in activity and private, symbolic rituals. They feel profoundly, but often can't express the depth of their loss.
Grief Support: The Don?ts
1) Don't try to make the grieving person feel better. YOU CANNOT. For many grievers it only serves to make them feel guilty or worse. Grievers MUST experience the pain of grief for healing to ultimately occur.
Lessons We Learned From Terri Schiavo
Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for me many aspects of grief and hope. Who among us was not moved by the drama of her last days? I know I was. Her death was not the way I would want my own death to be. When my time comes, I want no heroic measures, since for me they simply postpone the inevitable. And watching the family feud that took place between her husband and her parents, with all the tension and the anger, saddened me terribly. Peace should be the last emotion Terry felt, but who knows if she heard only the angry words passed between those she loved. No one should have to die as she did.
Understanding Grief and Loss in Times of War and Disaster
There are many different kinds of losses we can experience in our lives. Indeed, loss in human beings has its beginnings in the birth process that separates the infant from the comfort and security of the mother's womb into a world where survival is conditional and predicated on individual responsibility. The presumable final loss is the end of the human life cycle caused by death. There are many losses in between those polarities that relate to the developmental and aging process in each life. All of these losses are expectable losses and our bereavement and mourning of these losses are colored by their expectability
Sympathy Flowers
Sending a floral tribute is a very appropriate way of expressing sympathy to a family who has experienced the loss of a loved one. Flowers express a feeling of life and beauty and offer much comfort to the family. A floral tribute can either be sent to a funeral service or to the family's residence. Here are some suggestions to assist you in sending sympathy flowers.
Suicide in the Church Part 1
Recently, several suicides have occurred right here in my own hometown of about 16,000 people. The latest of these involved a friend of mine who was, among other things, the leader of a Christian Business Fellowship which I attend. He was a lawyer with a terrific wife, two young kids, very prominent in his church, coached little league baseball. As one can imagine, speculations abound - everything from possible chemical imbalances to unfair, unfounded comments which...well, small town gossip can be so mean-spirited.
Adapting to the Loss of a Loved One: Three Tips on how to Cope
Have you ever sat down and played a piano where one of the keys wasn't working? Or made cookies and left out an ingredient? Perhaps you've started listening to a favorite CD, and just when it gets to your favorite part of your favorite song, you realize that there is a scratch in it.
Euthanasia: How Will I Know When its Time?
Pippin needed assistance from his owner to get to his feet. He slowly walked to the door, then needed help once again to step down onto the back porch. With a slight groan, he squatted to relieve himself and came back towards the house. There was no twinkle in his eye, and this time he needed to be carried all the way back to his bed. He'd used up his energy for that day.
Dealing With Tragedies (The 9/11 Tragedy)
September 11, 2001, marked yet another significant turning point in world history. Whatever innocence was left in the world was lost on that fateful day.
Watching Death
Like it or not, we think in line with our customs and tradition often times, right down to the level of how we think of death, or about death. I was a licensed counselor for many years, and the issue came up a few times, and I was sad at its results, to hear Americas shamefully trying to avoid talking about it. But let me put that aside and finish the article. Yes customs and traditions set down; do play a big part in how we view death. Death being a normal and natural thing; we mimic our parents and our TV heroes, and how they portray death. Why so much gloom out there on death [?] It has been around for a long time, as long as I've been around anyhow, fifty-seven years. It is often a taboo subject to talk bout it in certain places. But you can see a lot of books on the subject; more than I can count.
Coping With A Funeral
When the death of a loved one occurs, regardless or whether it was expected or not, you will find yourself having to deal with a great number of people. Some you will know closely, others may be complete strangers; all will be claiming some kind of relationship to the deceased.
Angelo Dies
Angelo C, was a good man that never did any harm. He died yesterday in the shower over a severe asthma attack. The entire school cried and prayed for their old friend Angelo. They joined in a moment of silence at 2:55 pm to let Angelo know that we care.
How to Turn Grief into Joy
I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me, I was with my daddy when his spirit left his body. I drove him to the emergency room because he was having chest pains. He said that they weren't too bad, and his color was good. He was still walking.
Why Does God Allow Suffering?
Justin was a typical ten year old boy. He liked Leggos, trains, and watching TV. He had red hair, freckles, and a huge smile. Justin was a great kid and everybody loved him. Because of cancer, he didn't live to see his eleventh birthday. His mom Mary, who had watched him suffer for months, held her son in her arms when he died. Every day, for the last two years, she has lived with the grief of her loss and the memories of Justin's suffering.
Then and Now
Over one hundred years ago, during the Victorian era, death and grief were popular subjects for poems, songs and stories. Grieving was considered a natural and acceptable part of the culture. People in mourning wore black clothing and/or black arm bands, women wore black veils, and it was common to see a black wreath on the door of the home of a bereaved family, announcing publicly that this was a home of sorrow. Bereavement was conspicuous and there were very specific societal customs designed to support people during the mourning process.
GoodBye GrandMa
My dearest Grandma, I will never forget you & sorry that I was not there with you when you passed.